Reality

When you're 15 and go through your first heartbreak, you think its the end of the world - nothing could get worse than that.  When you're 27, it doesn't feel any different.  At least for me.  It would be nice to think that love and heartbreak get easier with age, but if anything it gets harder.  And the big question is what to do when your heart and your head both say the same two things - "you're doing the right thing" and "you're an idiot."  Which one do you listen to?  Are they saying I'm doing the right thing because it is...or do I think it will change something?  Sometimes things come to a point where you feel like you have to give up and it's never easy.  Especially because my heart skips a beat every time my phone beeps.  Maybe it's him!  But it's not.  I don't want to give up.  It's a sucky feeling.

I did surprisingly well yesterday.  And I think it's because in the back of my head I believed he'd come get me.  I never questioned if he cared.  I questioned if I mattered enough.  And then the surprise present at the back door happened.  I cried, oh I cried.  I got all warm and fuzzy.  And now today, I'm back to being down in the dumps.  I see that present sitting on my counter, I smile, and then I hurt.

the pursuit of happiness

You can only be as happy as you let yourself be.  If you walk around with a frown on your face, happiness will be out of reach.  If you dwell on the crappy things, you'll overlook the good.  If there are things in your life that make you unhappy, do something about it.  If someone is treating you in a way you don't think you deserve, set 'em straight or ditch 'em - because no one deserves anything less than happiness.

Be proud of who you are.  If you're a bad cook like me, embrace it, laugh at it.  If you're emotional like me, own it.  You are who you are for a reason.  Cherish the person you are and there will always be someone somewhere you thinks you are absolutely perfect.  Someone who knows what to say to make you feel better, someone who laughs at your awful jokes, someone who knows what you're thinking and someone who loves every ounce of you, even the flaws.