"Sometimes things fall apart so better things can come together."
This is my favorite quote. It has gotten me through some pretty dark times and it gives me hope for the future. I knew my relationship with DB wasn't meant to be. He cheated (at least twice that I know of) and he lied (on a daily basis - and about the most mundane things). I definitely didn't/don't deserve that. And most importantly, Emma doesn't deserve that. He'll talk to her on the phone for all of 30 seconds before saying he has to go and that he'll call her the next day...which he doesn't. One day, Emma will realize the lies. I don't know the direction in which their relationship will go, but I do know that she'll have a great stepdad one day - one that doesn't lie to her.
So as my relationship with DB fell apart, my heart broke for Emma. I look back on it now and wonder if I didn't have Emma if the divorce would have been so hard for me. It wasn't me losing my husband per se that hurt - it was Emma losing her family and me realizing I was about to be raising her own my own. Terrifying thought!
But now, a year and a half later, we are in a really good place. I know Emma is still hurt and I know that I may need to take her to talk to someone when she's older, but she's got me - and I'm pretty awesome. I just hope that one day, DB will realize what he's doing to his daughter and will try to right that. I don't see that happening anytime soon, but I'll hope for one day for the sake of Emma.
No matter how dark things may seem, there is alawys light at the end of the tunnel. Your a great mother and Emma is blessed to have you. Even though DB didn't work out and your raising Emma on our own, God gave her to you for a reason. To me the real question would be, if I were not blessed with Emma, where would I be, how would I be, what would I be doing with my life. I too was a single mother at a young age, my son's father was all of the above. My life before my son was on a downward spiral, I believe in my hear that even though it was rough, heart breaking at times. My son gave me a reason to do the right things, to make a better life for us, to give him everything that I never had. Even through the ups and downs, be strong and remember, Emma is that pot of Gold at the end of the rainbow, no matter how stormy life can become, the light will shine throw and Emma will be there.
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